You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
