hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
