I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
