She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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