At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
