do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
