My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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