I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Also, beer. Big fan.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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