seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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