I've blown a few things in my day
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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