So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We need to rekindle our bromance
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
