I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
...so i touched it.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
