After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
