At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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