Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Your penis caused this!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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