i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
