So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
