I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
