@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
