But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
