Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize