i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
