Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
