Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize