i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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