I think I died a long time ago.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
