So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
did you just send me my own nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize