if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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