Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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