I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
