Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
