Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i am craving dick and cupcakes
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize