If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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