you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
