do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
