Me too!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
