He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
