Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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