I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
