Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
