tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize