Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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