That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
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Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
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I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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