Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize