I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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