hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
