that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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