remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize