I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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