I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
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