I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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