turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
