they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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