I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
