Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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