I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She needs sedatives and a leash
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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