Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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