and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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